The last sound you expect to hear

Poor Andreas was outnumbered by Bosnian (Milan) duct guys and me
practically crawling through the phone because I couldn't be on site.

Bulkheads are here, there and everywhere.  Here is Andreas' account

Tuesday November 13th 2007

So it's ducting time!  Yea, progress is occurring.

"Where's the ducting plan?", Andreas asks of Marat.
"What do you need that for, these guys are professionals; it will be
fine", says Marat.

"Well, it's Thursday and they are coming on Monday to install the Ducts
so I would like to see where everything is going to go", says Andreas
"Ok, here's the name of the Ducting Engineer, Dan. Contact him for a
copy of the plans", says Marat.

Andreas emails Dan. Nothing. Friday call Marat and ask for Dan to
contact us. Nothing.
Saturday we finally reach Dan by phone and ask him for a copy of the
plan. He sends them and we look over them over the weekend.

"There's a bulkhead running in front of a doorway in the basement!",
say Andreas
"There's pipes blowing air downwards into the second floor bedrooms!",
says Lianne.

What the h*ck is this!

So Monday the ducting installers come. Andreas is there. Andreas asks
them about the bulkhead in the basement, and the attic pipes.
"Oh, the engineer is crazy; nobody installs supply ducts in the attic.
That's too much work, too many bends, too much airflow is lost so
almost nothing comes out at the end", says Milan the duct installer lead.

Dan the duct engineer is called.

"Dan, what's up with these bulkheads and attic ducts?", Andreas asks.
"Why, would you like them somewhere else?", asks Dan.
"Yes, they block a basement door and the installer doesn't like the
Attic ones", says Andreas.
"Ok, I'll revise them and email you the update.", says Dan.

"Email, where do I get email on a construction site?", thinks Andreas.
Fortunately on of the neighbours (whom Andreas has performed computer
salvation on several occasions), let him use their computer and printer.

So while Andreas is fiddling around trying to get the important bits of
11x17 PDF diagram to fit onto 8.5x11 paper he hears a loud and
terrifying noise:
BRAAAAAAAAA!!!!  BRAAA!  BRAAA!   BRRAAAAAA!!

Get this: IT'S THE SOUND OF A CHAINSAW!
(...cutting up our newly built house!)

So Andreas finishes the printing and races over there. By now the noise
has stopped and the whole house smells of oil and gasoline.
Any fires?; any collapsing floors or caving in walls?   No, Phew!

Turns out Ducting Installers use a Chainsaw to "simplify" their work.
Yea, Right!
We've seen what duct installers do. In fact in another house (with
ducts put in a long, long time ago), a duct installer cut entirely through
a supporting floor joist to accommodate his precious duct.

Fortunately here the chainsaw was only used to put in the square-corner
floor vents and returns.  Panic averted.


So the new plans from Dan the Ducting Engineer feature no more ducts in
the attic (He blames cheap and lazy Duct Installers for not wanting to
install them).
So even though the new plans don't have Attic Ducts, Andreas asks for
one be added (in addition to a floor vent) in the master bedroom over
the bay window to help with air conditioning in the summer. Milan
reluctantly agrees and puts it in.

All is not perfect however, as the ducts in the floors upstairs now
need to have a huge bulkhead running the length of the house on the Main
Floor.
In front of the Bay Window on the main floor, another giant pipe runs
that needs to be covered with an ugly wart of a bulkhead.
"You can't have open concept and no bulkheads", says Milan the Duct
Installer

"Why can't you put the duct behind the supporting beam over the
window?", asks Andreas in reply.
"Oh, we don't dare cut any wood near that beam, as it could collapse",
says Milan.
(More likely a slip of the chainsaw could be fatal to the house!)

Andreas leaves, and the Duct Installers work late into the day to
finish their ducting of the upper floors.
The following day Andreas goes back again, and figures out that if the
Carpenter (Sergi) cuts the path for the ducting, the Duct Installers
can relocate the pipe over the bay window.

That's the plan anyway.  Now we just have to convince Sergi to cut the
path and Milan (or his boss), to move the ugly pipe.
Oh, yea. Then we have to "negotiate" with Marat to use some spray foam
insulation instead of fiberglass around this rerouted duct.  If we
don't it could get very cold from it's detoured route, and not move heat
where it needs to in the winter!